This blog has been quite lately, not that I haven't thought about it, I just did not know what to write about I guess, but today after talking with my daughter Rebecca, I realized that "life goes on" after a sudden death of a loved one, loss of a job and security, loss of a home and all it's comforts, loss of a friendship, any loss is most difficult to deal with, but "life goes on!"
2016 held lots of grief milestones that I had to work through, the biggest was selling my home where my life with my late husband held so many, many wonderful memories. I knew memories were stored within my soul and that I could take them out whenever I needed too. Living alone in the Maine woods in a sweet cabin that I so loved and cherished in every way, every piece of wood upon it's walls, every brick on the hearth for the wood stove, the crooked stone chimney on the side of cabin had been hand built by my husband it was still time to let it go and go on in my life.
I could no longer infringe on my Harmony friends to make sure I was ok, to plow the driveway when it needed it, to come fix my lawn mower when I got my sweat shirt tangled up in the blades, to get a phone call every single morning from a friend who has promised my children back in 2013 that she would keep any eye on me and let them know if something was not quite right. I was no longer up to hauling wood through snow and blowing winds to keep the house warm, and I just could no longer handle the loneliness.
I cleaned out the house giving most things away, things I could not use in my life style of being a full time RV'er. My sister, Vicki, took some of my belongings and made her place more comfortable and that in itself offers me comfort. Some things were left behind in a bad relationship with a man who was a narcissist and needed a woman in his life for no reason at all, except to clean house, do laundry, take care of his dog, and do yard work. It was just easier than bringing it to Pete's place for a yard sale or Salvation Army. As Bill often said after my divorce of my first marriage, "it is just stuff!"
The house went on sale just prior to Pete and I leaving for Boone NC, our first road trip as full time RV'ers, along the route my agent called and said, the house is sold!! WHAT? In Harmony in 7 days? My body shook, it was happening, anxiety set in, my mind raced, it was happening, I was in the final stages of letting go of my life with William Witt.
Life goes on, yes it does, you don't forget yesterday, it keeps you focused on how short life truly is, and that the living deserve to live. And so my life goes on without Bill and our "things" and I have a new life, one of traveling with a man who's only purpose in life is to make me happy! And believe me, I don't take that lightly! He is a good man who cares for my children and grandchildren and that is so very important. My life goes on...and I am ready!!
