One of my favorite movies is "Gone with the Wind." And one of my favorite sayings of that movies is "I shall think about it tomorrow!" And so after my children had left the homestead, my body was exhausted, I just wanted a peaceful sleep but I knew it would be weeks if not months before that happened.
As the days went on, I became both mentally and physically drained. Bill's life was over, and mine had changed forever. One cannot loose the love their life and expect life to go on, but it must and it will only different I thought and I smiled because often Bill would say, "it's the same only different." And I would turn to him and say, "my husband!" I guess it was not for me to understand his saying until he was gone from the one person who loved him unconditionally.
On this one rainy drizzly day I was happy it was raining, I thought the angels in heaven are crying today therefore it is a day of doing nothing, I call them "HollyDays." I had much to do but I thought "I shall think about it tomorrow!" Shanti and I were curled up on the couch under a blanket I had often used with Bill during the winter months, we cuddled often you know, anyway, my eyes became so heavy I knew it was time to rest my body and mind. Sleep came quickly with the warmth of the blanket and listening to my beagle as she slept.
I don't know how long I was asleep but a vision of Bill occurred, his face and his hands, I saw love in his eyes and also sorrow as his hands reached for my face and he gently held it looking deep into my eyes. His head tilted just the way I remembered and he placed a kiss up on lips. I could feel his love and the warmth of his lips. The kiss was lingering, passionate and gentle and as he left I heard him say, "I am sorry honeybunny, I love you!" I awoke with a start and felt my lips in a kissing form if you will, I looked for him but he was not there. He had given me an angel kiss, just as my grandson Nick asked of him in a poem he wrote which I will share later.
I felt sad yet rejoiced that he was able to come to me and he has since, and he will continue to for as long as I live.
No comments:
Post a Comment