Interview with Santa...

I was very fortunate to obtain a phone number directly to the North Pole, where I was able to speak with mighty elf himself, Santa Claus. I had dropped him a note asking if I might do an interview with him for my Spirit Within Blog, and his reply was, "Of Course Holly for I am the SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS." And so the interview began!

Holly: How long have you lived at the North Pole Santa?
Santa: For many, many, many, years Holly, it is special magical place for me and wife and my working elves. We even have our own post-office where mail is delivered every hour on the half hour.
Holly: How many letters do you receive a year Santa?
Santa: Oh anywhere between 700,000 to 1,000,000.
Holly: Are they all from children?
Santa: No sometimes I receive letters from mom's and dad's, asking for special miracles for their children. Sometimes they are the most difficult letters to read.
Holly: Do you receive letters from people in heaven?
Santa: Oh yes! These are the ones Mrs. Claus and I read together, while drinking our hot chocolate and eating a cookie or two. In fact Holly you just sit back for a minute if you would. (Santa rose from his chair and proceeded to his huge oak desk piled high with mail. He sorted through a pile and pulled one out and returned back to his chair)
Santa: Holly I have a letter here from your husband Bill who is celebrating his first Christmas in heaven. May I read it to you?
Holly: Yes please Santa!
Santa: Dear Santa,
This is my first Christmas in heaven, it is absolutely beautiful here I might add, we are slowly getting decorated for celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Lights are going up on our trees and walkways burn brightly with glowing candles. It is spectacular Santa, just spectacular!

Santa? My main reason for writing to you is to ask you to let Holly, my wife know that I am fine, I miss her so much and I love her dearly. I see her tears and I try to wipe them from her cheek, I see her loneliness and I try to give her strength. I see how much she loves our home that we built together, but I also see that she has thoughts of moving on where she will be closer to her family and I want her to know that is okay to do.

You know Santa, Holly so loved Christmas, she was like a little girl, so eager for Christmas morning, and me, well I was just an old Ebenezer Scrooge, but it was done in fun Santa, for I loved how Holly decorated our home for the Christmas season, heck we were the only ones on our road who had loads of decorations. I was so proud of how our home looked Santa.

I know this Christmas is going to be difficult for Holly, Santa, so if you could, would you give her a hug for me, and tell her I love her, and I am not far away from her. The flicker light in the dining room is me, I have been there constantly for several days to watch over her for I see she has been distressed. The wildlife she has been seeing over the last few days is my Christmas gift to her, she loves the animals of the forest as much as I did and I still do Santa.

Give Holly, my children Derek, Chris and Crystal and my step-children, Rebecca, Jodi and Anthony all hugs for me and let them know that at this time of year family is so very important to be with. Let them know I am OK, I am at peace, and especially happy to see that Holly has made new friends since my passing.

Again Santa, tell Holly I love her, I am proud of how she is taking care of things in the winter weather. She has her life to live and I want her to be happy and when her time comes I will be there waiting with my arms opened and together we will rejoice in our love for each other.

Thanks Santa, have a safe travel day.

Warmest Regards,
Bill Witt

Holly: Thank you Santa...God Bless you!!

24,455 days ago more or less.

Sounds like a lot doesn't it, but it is only 67 years ago today that Eugene and Myrtle Witt gave birth to a son, a son who learned to crawl, to speak, to go to school and become the man most everyone was happy to know.

Sure he was in trouble as a teen, he and a buddy Billy Vantassel were always looking for trouble, and Bill Witt found he was offered two choices, jail time or Vietnam, he chose the USMC and Vietnam, back then most trouble makers took the second choice. Should be done today if you ask me, military time for offenders!

He became a father and a business man, a NASCAR modified driver a sport he loved, a hunter, a friend to many, and my loving husband. He became a grandfather to two little girls and later in life a grandson. He was a Mason, a proud a righteous organization, and he withheld their values.

He loved working on cars, his trade actually, and restored many GTO's in his lifetime. He loved hunting and fishing, but was not too keen on trapping it was a lot of work to check the traps every day he thought.  He loved Moosehead and often as a young man, went to his parents camp on the lake, wishing he had the foresight to buy the property when they sold it.

He loved his friends and would do anything for them from insulating an attic, to shooting skunks that invaded people's property, to sitting with our friend when someone came by to clean her chimney, he was there with a smile and glad I could help attitude!!

He loved his children and his step children and was proud of them all for the many accomplishments they achieved. He fought various types cancers for years, one life threatening, but he never ever complained or said "why me?"

He was an excellent husband who was always willing to help out with "women chores" as he called them. He loved Maine and the four seasons it offered him, so he moved to Maine from Massachusetts and found a camp in Harmony. called it home or as the sign on the front porch reads, "Witt's End".

The love of my life died on July 16th so the certificate of death reads, actually that was the day his body was recovered from Great Moose Lake. He now is with  his family who went before him, and I am sure he has lots to say to them even though in life he never talked much.

So today, 24,455 more or less days ago a great man was born, my husband, William Arthur Witt, Happy Birthday in Heaven my love. God Bless you!!

Father and sons!!!

Thank a Veteran

Our Nation under God will be the land of the free as long as it is the home of the brave. On November 11th a day that has been set aside for us to honor all veterans who served their country and were willing to lay down their lives so we the people could live in a free America.

I am proud to say that I have two children who served their country, my daughter Rebecca who joined the Navy and served her country for eight years, and my son Tony who served his country for four in the Navy as well. Fortunately they never saw any action, however they were ready, willing and able to defend the great USA if they were needed.

My husband served his country in the USMC during the Vietnam War in Khe Sanh. He like many of our men who returned home were spat upon and called "baby Killers" words that cut him like a hot iron. He suffered from PTSD and what is called survivors guilt. He cried often with me asking "why me?" "Why did I survive and not my boys?" I had no answer. He went for counseling for years and years and only recently found a counselor who cared and helped him.

He was startled with fire works yet he attended with me each and every year here in Harmony when they were at the Harmony Free Fair. Now that Maine has legal fireworks there were times when neighbors would set them off unexpectedly and he would tighten up, friends saw that at his home on July 4th when we held a celebration of America's birthday with friends. 

He suffered from agent orange and various cancers but he never complained, only those closest to him and cared about him knew, those being his wife. He suffered in silence and told me many times, "I would do it all over again honey, only different this time and my boys would come with me."

We have many Veterans in our town of Harmony and all over our state, so take a moment and thank them, they will look startled when you say it, for it is not done enough, but when they get home and they think about it, they will feel honored, how do I know? I saw it once when Bill and I were out and this man walked up to him and thanked him for his service and yes Bill was taken aback, but as the man extended his hand Bill gave him his, and Bill being Bill said, "you are welcome my friend." They both felt great.

So thank you Becky, Tony, Bill, Victor my nephew who serves today, Josh, my son in law who is serving and Justin, for your service. Because of you and your many sacrifices we live in a free America.

Veterans Day a day we honor our men and woman and animals who served their country.

Halloween 2001

"Meet me at the Park and Ride in Lewiston, I said" "About 6PM, I said." I arrived at the Park and Ride and waited and waited for almost a half hour and then I headed for home, but not before looking at the second Park and Ride at the same exit and seeing his vehicle. I grinned and drove in and parked by his car, he rolled down his window and said, "did you work over time?" "No, I was at the other park and ride just up the road!" He grinned and invited me into his vehicle and presented me with 3 long stem roses. "I guess I am going to have to call you Lost Lucy, he said." "Good name, I said, cause I get lost in a king sized bed." He laughed out loud a laugh I grew to love.

We went to eat at a local Chinese Restaurant in Lewiston, he opened my car door, and the restaurant door too, I was immediately impressed, but the big moment was when he touched the small of my back and this tingly sensation exploded through my body. "What the hell I thought?" We sat and talked bit over a glass of wine, and then headed over to the buffet. Dinner was great.

We shared our lives and what we both wanted from a new partner. We met on Match.com, so some things had been shared via the internet. One thing I told him was I was not into game meat, he scowled and grinned and said, "the reason you don't like it is because you have never had it cooked correctly." "Probably, I said, but I still don't like it." Get the cards on the table right off and let each other know just where we stand was my thought process.

I watched him eat, I watched his eyes as he spoke, they seemed honest enough yet a deep sadness was within, he spoke of his children and how proud he was of all 3 of them, told me of his other family whom he had not had contact with years. He said he loved hunting and fishing it was his salvation he said.

I told him about my children and how I loved them more than life, and if this relationship of ours went anywhere it had to include my children who were on their own, but yet my babies. He agreed to that completely.

When dinner finished he asked where I wanted to go so I thought and said lets just ride around the city or head out to Lisbon which is more country. We rode and talked for what seemed like hours, we laughed, he had a great sense of humor I thought, and then I popped the question, "do you like to travel?" No Holly I don't I have a home or camp if will and that is exactly where I want to be." Hmm strike one I thought.

Strike two was that he was a Vietnam Vet, and a Marine, I found that rather scary having known some not so nice Marines in my life who treated their wives like dirt and their children worse. And strike three was he was a Sagittarian and they did not get along with Capricorns at all!!

As our date came to an end we drove back silently to my car, did I want to see him again? Probably not with 3 strikes against him. I thanked him for dinner and a nice evening and wanted to hurry out of the car, but he said,"Holly can I see you again?" I am not sure Bill I said, you already have three strikes against you!" He scowled the Witt scowl and asked for an explanation which I quickly gave him. His words to me were this, " please don't judge me because I am a Sagittarian, a Marine and a Vietnam Vet, and even though I don't like to travel I will, if it is with the right person." "I am different from your
past Holly, please give me a chance to show you?"

Again he got out the car and opened my door and helped me into my car, he leaned down and gave me butterfly kiss, and said, "I like you, I like what you believe in, your honesty, your loving ways with your children and your nanny children, I want to get to know you better "Pretty Eyes". He closed the door and walked away.

I liked him!!

10 things I love about Fall!!

1. FOLIAGE: The beauty of the Maine forest dressed in her finest attire. Colors of green, red, brown, cold, orange.

2. MOOSE HUNT: Recollection of a moose hunt Bill and I went on. The thrill of waiting 30 years for permit was worth it for him and me. Picnic packed, rifle loaded, the hunt was on! Calling the moose, hearing them approach us and OH NO it is a bull, the permit was for a cow and so we waited.

3. BURNING WOOD: Starting the wood stove and listening to it crackle as it warms up the house and Shanti lays peacefully on the hearth rug keeping her body warm.

4. WILDLIFE: Waking in the early hours of day light and seeing 6 doe's on my front lawn enjoying the apples that have fallen from the tree.

5. HUNTING: Knowing the members of the "SHOOT AND RELEASE BUNNY HUNTERS" are out on a foggy crispy Saturday morning.

6. SKY: It can go from crystal clear to overcast to haunting. It can take your breath away, and can make you pull your car over to the side of the highway on your way home and thank God for the beautiful sight you are seeing.

7. DECORATING: Pumpkins and gourds, corn stalks and Indian corn, all part of the celebration of fall.

8. FALL CLEANING: I have been doing a lot of that it seems, not that our home was every really dirty, but it is time to slowly put things away that were Bill's and someday his children may want. Little things that mean so much,.His many mounts will remain though for even though he is gone this is still the home he so loved to be at.

9. WINTERIZING: Putting plastic on windows and doors to help maintain the cost of heating. Getting the shovel out of the shed, WOW did you see the duct tape on the handle? Time for a new one. Duct tape fixed everything for my precious husband Bill. He so made me laugh.

10. THANKS: For all that I have and have had. A husband who loved me in every way, respected me, admired me, made me feel so special all the time, wonderful children and super grandchildren, a beautiful warm home where family and friends are welcome at all times, for my great sister who checks on me every now and again, for my special friends who have supported me so much since the death of Bill.

        'Those we love don't go away they walk beside us every day!   '  

Bammm it hit me!

Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. Sometimes your heart and emotions are in so much pain you don't dare to look any further than the actual moment. Sometimes you just want to curl up in fetal position and say, "I lost the love of my life, there is no reason to go on!" That would be too easy for the wife of Bill Witt, for as I said earlier he never refused to go on in life even though there were times his heart was deeply broken for one reason or another. But yet it is difficult to go on...easier to hide and not go on and then...... BAMMMMMMMMM it hits you right beside the head, when you least except it, as if someone hit you with a butt of a rifle and said, "Holly, this woman who cries at a drop of the hat, this woman who is wanting to give up her life is NOT the woman I feel in love with and married!" "Now get your hinney going and get on with life, yes baby steps some days and giant steps others." "Life your life Honeybunny, for you have life left in you".

The other night I saw a woman whom I had not seen in years, she looked great I thought, she smiled her beautiful smile that lite up her face, her scent of perfume smelled as though it had been made just for her, and as she reached across the table to touch my hand she said, "I know what you are going through Holly and I am so sorry for your loss." I wept of course because that is just how it is sometimes when someone is extra gentle with you and your heart is broken. I watched her and listened to her as she spoke of her loss and I envied her that she was so strong and was going on with her life, and I was sure that is what her husband wanted her to do, just as mine wants me too as well.

I thought of her and her strength and although I don't know the situation I knew she had loved and lost just as I had and was going on with her life. Life is for the living I thought and I need to live and not hide any more. I know there will be days when I will falter, that is to be expected, but there will days when I will smile and make a plan for the day and carry it through. A trip to Moosehead where Bill and I often went, a ride up the road the enjoy the beautiful fall dress of our beautiful State called Maine. A trip to be with my sister to laugh and be silly in our old age. A trip to see my children and grandchildren and who knows maybe a trip to some place I have never been.

I will mourn Bill forever, he is the love of my life, in his life time I tried to make his life complete in every way, as he did for me, we loved our life together, it was pure, gentle, silly, rewarding, playful, adventurous, and sometimes down right scary when he headed up 150 on the Harley and at the corner in Athens the tail pipes would scrape the tar, and he knew he had scared me, and would reach back and give three taps on my leg which meant "I LOVE YOU!" Life was great with Bill, but he is gone from me now and I must go on...it is called "HOPE"

Shanti Marie!

About 5 years ago now a young couple came into the store I was working in with the sweetest looking beagle I had ever seen. Of course like with every four legged dog that came in the store I instantly feel in love with her.  "We're taking her to your house Holly!"  "Yea right," I said. "no more dogs for us.  They continued to say that they had called Bill and he had some friends in Athens who would take the dog in the morning.

When I arrived home that night from work lo and behold there the dog was curled up on Bill's lap just as if she had been a part of him her whole life. From the "I put my hand in the cookie jar" look on Bills face I knew she was ours and was not heading to Athens in the morning.

Her name derived from a Native American name Shanti, and of course she needed a middle name cause that is just how it is, so Marie was her middle name, when she was good her name was Shanti, when she was naughty it was and still is Shanti Marie Witt.

Now Shanti being a beagle was not known for her bunny hunting skills. She went out with dad several times and soon became the talk of the town because she had no desire at all to hunt, she liked being with Bill of course and would sit on his snow shoes instead of pack with other dogs. Her hunting days were short.

Shanti became a house pet, and thank goodness she did, for you see today she is my very best friend. She cuddles in her own blanket while watching television with me at night. She barks at the phone when it rings after we have gone to bed. She hears animals around the house at night and of course pants and barks which wakes me up, but she is my protector and that is her job now that her dad is no longer with us.

Shanti went though a hard time when Bill passed away, she was okay when family and friends were here to keep her occupied and play with her, but like any living animal that loves as she did her dad, she became depressed at the fact that her dad was not around any longer.

At night I hear her cry while she is sleeping, I know she is dreaming of her dad and how he played with her a night, and taught her some useless tricks, she misses his voice, and so I wake and pet her until the crying stops. It's hard to make her understand what is going on in the human world. She looks at me like she understands, but I know she doesn't really and who knows maybe that is for the best.

She has become my best friend, she is attached to my hip if you will, we talk and when I cry she will try to lick the tears away as if saying "mommy it is ok, I am here with you."  I promised to take care of her forever, yet she is really my care taker. Together we make it through the trials and tribulations of being Holly and Shanti.

The Honorable Warrior



 

 

The Honorable Warrior

In Respect to William A. Witt

 

Today we are honoring a man's great life, mind, and spirit.

Who would connect with nature, see, feel and hear it.

While others may fear it, the Warrior remains fearless.

To many he was Mr. Witt, or Will. But to me he was Grampy Bill.

Who's energy lives still. At the top of blue hill.

With a rifle and an eye for the perfect kill.

A heart of love and pathway to the above.

So go on Grampy, Give Grammy a kiss and fly like a dove.

 

 

Written with Love,

Nicholas Garland

(Grandson)

An Angel's Kiss!

One of my favorite movies is "Gone with the Wind." And one of my favorite sayings of that movies is "I shall think about it tomorrow!" And so after my children had left the homestead, my body was exhausted, I just wanted a peaceful sleep but I knew it would be weeks if not months before that happened.

As the days went on, I became both mentally and physically drained. Bill's life was over, and mine had changed forever. One cannot loose the love their life and expect life to go on, but it must and it will only different I thought and I smiled because often Bill would say, "it's the same only different." And I would turn to him and say, "my husband!" I guess it was not for me to understand his saying until he was gone from the one person who loved him unconditionally.

On this one rainy drizzly day I was happy it was raining, I thought the angels in heaven are crying today therefore it is a day of doing nothing, I call them "HollyDays." I had much to do but I thought "I shall think about it tomorrow!"  Shanti and I were curled up on the couch under a blanket I had often used with Bill during the winter months, we cuddled often you know, anyway, my eyes became so heavy I knew it was time to rest my body and mind. Sleep came quickly with the warmth of the blanket and listening to my beagle as she slept.

I don't know how long I was asleep but a vision of Bill occurred, his face and his hands, I saw love in his eyes and also sorrow as his hands reached for my face and he gently held it looking deep into my eyes. His head tilted just the way I remembered and he placed a kiss up on lips. I could feel his love and the warmth of his lips. The kiss was lingering, passionate and gentle and as he left I heard him say, "I am sorry honeybunny, I love you!" I awoke with a start and felt my lips in a kissing form if you will, I looked for him but he was not there. He had given me an angel kiss, just as my grandson Nick asked of him in a poem he wrote which I will share later.

I felt sad yet rejoiced that he was able to come to me and he has since, and he will continue to for as long as I live.

Lessons learned

Bill was a wonderful kind and gentle soul, he suffered with severe PTSD, but over the last few months of his life he was getting better with things. His nightmares slowed down, and his question of "WHY ME" were not asked as often. Through him I learned a lot.

1. He awoke every morning with a smile and kiss and a "good morning honeybunny." ****and so I do the same even though there are days I would just as soon lay in bed with the blanket over my head.

2. He kept his personal hygiene in order too although sometimes he would come in from work a bit ripe, smelling of rust or gas or goodness knows what. ****I shall do the same.

3. He had hobbies to keep himself busy, working on cars, hunting moose when his name was finally drawn after a 30 year wait. Hunting bunnies with his buddies, deer hunting with his wife and sharing a tree stand with her, turkey hunting in both spring and fall with his wife, bear hunting,  fishing and boating and riding his Harley with his wife covering his back. ****I am looking for a hobby for my hobby was to make Bill's life as wonderful as possible as he did for me., and to keep our home clean. He often teased me by saying "this is not Better Homes and Gardens honeybunny." to me it was and still is.

4. To help others and treat them as he wanted to be treated. He would go at a drop of the hat to helps some one out, weather it was to kill a bunch of skunks in their back yard, to kill off coyotes that were after friends chickens or to put insulation up in someone's crawl space because they were disabled. He was labeled here in Harmony by those who did know him as the "crazy Vietnam Vet." He held that name proudly to those he did not trust or care about. ****Although I know how to shoot a gun and can protect myself and have shot a turkey and deer I think those days are done for me. Besides I never really cared for venison, however fair warning..watch out for the WIFE of a crazy Vietnam Vet he taught her shoot, and she will protect what is rightfully hers.

5. His home was opened to anyone who wished to enter. He made them feel at home instantly and so loved to show off his trophies in the house, beer, deer, fish, goose, raccoons, turkey, fox, coyote, and often said if his wife did not clean them like she does they would not look as nice as they do. ****My doors are no longer opened to just anyone who might stop by, I have to protect what I have, however to friends and family it is opened. And yes I still have all the trophies here of his..I used to tease him and say "when you die all these animals go away." Today I cherish them.

6. He taught me to go in life, even though your heart is broken, for his was with the loss of "boys" in VietNam. "One foot in front of the other", he use to say to me. ****It is difficult for sure and sometimes I wonder if I can, but in Memory of my husband I will...my Journey continues.

the darkest night of my life

Phone calls had been made and two of my friends came by and heard the news of Bill's disappearance. I knew in my soul he had drowned but yet I wanted him to be in the woods possibly hurt yes but none the less alive. He was strong, he was a Marine, he fought a war I thought, he can survive this!

I called my sister Vicki to come to me and she did as quickly as she could, I called my step son Chris and told him the news, being the positive person he is, he said "Mamma think positive, I'll be there as soon as I can." Both he and Derek were here by noon the next day from Florida.

I sat in my dining room that dreadful night waiting for head lights to come up the drive way, drank coffee and prayed and smoked, please let him be OK I prayed, he is the love my life, my one and only, but my heart sank each time I asked for I knew he was gone. Gone to be with his boys from Khe Sanh. "I am home Holly and at peace, I love you and I am sorry this happened for I know water and drowning is your biggest fear in life!" I felt him say.

As the sun crested into dawns early light I felt a comfort, "there now he can see, he won't be afraid now!"

It is strange how the body reacts, you become numb, oblivious to those around you, you go on and you wonder how you will survive, but you do.

Family and friends were notified that he was missing, they came by and helped and brought food, and water and soda and cake and cookies and hugs and love, there was still hope of course. "What can we do Holly?" they said.

The Game Wardens came by with a chaplain and told me straight up what to expect, you think you can't handle it but you can, your body and mind is stronger than you think.

My daughter arrived from Georgia staying for over three weeks, my other children were on their way as soon as their jobs and lives allowed. Campers arrived from friends in Dixfield and Harmony, offers of free lodging at the LumberJack Lodges in Harmony. And the people came, they stayed, they shared stories of Bill and his unofficial "Shoot and Release Bunny Club".

Two days later the Wardens who had kept me posted for what I thought to be every four hours came to the house and the look on Sargent's face told the story. "We found him Holly!" I froze! I wanted to crumble to the floor, my heart tore out of my chest, I was now a widow,alone to go in life without this precious man whom I called my husband.

Prayers were said for us all by his sister Elaine, hugs and tears flowed freely, people came, more stories told which helped to begin the process of healing. Plans had to made to put him to rest! So many phone calls from people who wanted to offer their sympathies.

I had to go on, I was told I was strong, (Holly Strong) as my son calls me, my instinct was to run, as far away as I possible could go, but this is my home, built by William Witt for us to enjoy and so....................My Journey Began!

The day my world stood still

It was a hot July day in Harmony, the sun was out, the humidity high, a type of day most Mainers are not unaccustomed to.  Breakfast had been served and Bill decided it was a perfect day to head out to Great Moose Lake to catch a few fish for our Sunday night dinner.

He loaded his small boat on the back of the truck, hauled his fishing box out of the shed, the poles to and loaded those and he was ready for his day on the one place he found serenity. He came in the house, gave me a kiss and said, "I'll see you at dark thirty." And he was off. Little did I know my life would change forever!

I watched as he left the drive way, something did not feel quite right, but he was gone which gave me time to run the vacuum, clean out the frig and hang out on facebook to play a few games.

At 5PM it was time to make the salad and vegetables for dinner he would be home soon. Seasoning for the fresh catch was on the counter and time ticked away.

At 8:20PM a truck pulls in the drive way, not Bill I thought but who? The Game Warden! He got out of truck and after corralling my beagle I was able to talk. "Holly? Did Bill go fishing today?" "yes I said with a grin," thinking he had forgotten his license and was probably in trouble for that. "Well we found his boat Holly, but not him." My world as I knew it exploded. I sat on the steps to process what he was telling me, I couldn't!! "Do you have family near by you can call?" "No! I said" Friends? Yes and so the call was made for someone to be with me while the search went on.